Christmas

We had an absolutely wonderful December.

The kids loved trimming the tree.

Ruby loved all the lights.

This sweet girl started to roll over from her tummy to her back and then her back to her tummy about a week later.

 this was the first time in many years with no crying kids and Santa.

 This was a best attempt for a picture in Christmas clothes.

 Christmas Eve we went sledding at Solider Hollow with Rod's family.

Ruby and I hung out in the warm lodge eating snacks and sipping hot cocoa.

Christmas Morning

I actually made the jammies this year.

Thanks Jeni for making them with me.

 

 Ruby finally woke up after all the presents were torn open.

 

Christmas was wonderful.

Yes, Ruby's pants are not on.

I just took her in jammies to my moms and the clothes she got for Christmas...the pants wouldn't even go past her knees.

She she spent a warm cozy Christmas in her jammies.

Ruby {6} months

Ruby 

6

months.

Oh I so love this girl.

Falling behind

I wrote the title for this post on 1/7/13.  I am finally going to just sit down and write.  I have really debating sharing this, because of many reasons.  I have this blog in the hopes that one day I will print all of the posts off and my children and family can look back.  Maybe laugh and cry but hopefully learn somethings and just enjoy reading the books. And if I can help my girls in anyway I would do it.  I have also debated making this a private or public post, but it has been on my mind a long time and I have just felt I needed to share.

In October, my feelings were hurt.  Nothing terrible was said just a response to a question in not the kindest answer.  Any other time I would probably have just shrugged it off.  But I couldn't. (Ruby was 4 months old and was just a joy!  I truly loved her.  Everything about her was wonderful.  She made the horrible pregnancy worth it...but not enough that I am doing it again.) My feelings were hurt.  On our drive home I told Rod of my feelings, but he did see or understand what was happening inside me.  Neither did I at that point.  I was so mad at Rod that he didn't seem to care.  I thought about it all night and the next morning when he left for work.  I lost it.  I didn't let him know how much him leaving was all of the sudden going to hurt inside.  I went to my room and just cried and cried and cried.  I called my mom at work and told her I was so sorry to be calling, but I was just so sad.  She called Jeni and Jeni came over.  Jeni and I sat and talked and then things started to come to my mind about the last 4 months.

I was rarely if ever getting out of my bed during the day.  I was never opening my windows.  I was feeding my children but I didn't care what they ate...and if you know me that is not the norm.  I got them something to eat and off to my bed again.  Ruby and I would just lay, nurse, lay and nurse all day.  I knew my children were needing me, but they enjoyed all the TV too.

Jeni finally asked me the question...Had I thought about hurting myself.  It was a weird feeling because all of the sudden it flashed to my mind.  Over the past few weeks I had a couple times thought of crashing my car.  And after driving my an accident wishing I was in that.  I NEEDED SOME HELP!  I finally called Rod and my dr.

I don't share this story for anyone to feel sorry for me.  I share this because it is so real.  I was so ashamed and guilty of the feelings I was having.  And after many months I have come to realize that I shouldn't be ashamed.  Even though it can be hard not too.  I want my girls to know that they should never be ashamed or feel guilty.  These feelings are horrible and it hurts but you can get help.  Most importantly turn to your Heavenly Father.  He will bless you and bless your family.  I am not always the best at this, but I do know he is there to help us and he will.  We just need to ask for help and guidance.

Who does Ruby look like???

Kate 4 months

Meg 4 months

 Hank 4 months 

 Ruby 4 months

Halloween

He had a fun HaLloWeEn.

But I am so glad it is over.

The girls loved cleaning out the pumpkins with daddy.

 Grandma Adrienne had her annual Halloween Party

And once again everyone was really good with costumes.

Kate the tiger (not a cat)

Meg the bat

Hank the transformer

Ruby the witch

 Bring in the clowns....

 Andy and Jeni

and Family

 Patti and Steve's kids

 Jimmy and Linzi and kids

 Grandma Adrienne and Ruby

 I did Kate makeup six times over the past five days.

I think she looked great, but I am done I can put away the make-up.

 Meg

 Hanks first costume was a transformer and we went trick or treating to Gayle and Dales

and

Hank had an accident.

So now he is Superman.

 Glenda and the Bate

 Isn't she the sweetest little witch.

Rod's sister Denae through a great Halloween Party on Monday, but I didn't take my camera.

Lots of fun games and treats.

Thanks Denae for a great time.

Happy Birthday Denae.

Kate's baptism

On October 13th Kate was baptized by her dad.

I am so proud of Kate and her choice.

It was another wonderful day with family and friends.

 Great Grandpa and Great Granna Epperson

 Grandma Adrienne

 Great Grandma Russell and Grandma Poulsen

Kate and Ruby

September 9th was a special day for our family.

Kate turned 8.

and

Ruby was blessed in our church.

It was so wonderful to be surrounded by all of our family.

I can't believe Kate is eight years old.

She is turning into a beautiful young girl.

She is a wonderful helper.

She is kind and wants to have lots of friends.

Her fashion sense is a little off sometimes.

And has become very picky about clothes.

Sometimes I want to scream but its not worth it.

She LOVES pickles.

I canned 80 quarts of pickles last summer and they lasted less then a year.

She loves to dance, play and school.

 I didn't get any good pictures of Ruby in her blessing dress.

I kept meaning to take more but now it is a little late.

She received a beautiful blessing from her dad.

In the blessing she was told "she would have a smile and a personality that will enhance others lifes"

I received a blessing years ago and was told I have "a smile and personality that touches each of us."

I thought that was pretty amazing to share those sweet words.

I love this little girl and wish she would stop growing.

She is such a peaceful baby and has a smile that lights up her whole body.

 Happy birthday Kate!